My Sunshine

Today I awoke numb because yesterday I lost my best friend. Our love affair started in a backyard to which I called over to him and he ran to me. In that instant our hearts were tied together, he chose me. That moment in which his cute furry face smiled at me as I held him in my arms will never fade from my memory. I was smitten and refused to leave without him by my side. He was the best Christmas present I ever received. I know that he is still with me in my heart, but I feel so incredibly empty today knowing I will never be able to tickle his belly and watch him laugh.

In the 12 years that we shared together we went through so much. He was my confidant, my cheerleader, the warm nose that would nuzzle next to me to let me know everything would be ok. Oh how I wish I had that nose today to alleviate this pain in my heart. He showed me what it meant to forgive and to love unconditionally. I know everyone thinks their dog is special, but Prince was not a dog he was an angel with a fur coat. He just knew what was in your heart and never ceased to amaze me.

When he was diagnosed with cancer three months ago, the shattering of my heart began. We opted to take the holistic route so that we could offer Prince a good quality of life in the end. Little by little you could see how this awful disease was taking pieces of him away. He was doing relatively well going for walks twice a day and still eating until this week. This week was night to last week’s day. I came yesterday after my dad called to let me know how Prince was deteriorating. Seeing him just laying there made my heartache something terrible. I thanked him for the most beautiful friendship I could have ever asked for, told him I loved him and he would always be my baby. Although he has lost his sight the last couple of days I knew he was listening because he closed his eyes and a sense of peace came over him. Marcus took him to the vet to put him at peace, but Prince would not have it that way. You see Prince was a strong willed dog who always wanted to do things his way and he HATED needles. So as Marcus held him in his arms waiting for the vet he said his goodbyes to which Prince looked up at him and left to become an angel before the vet even came to the room. I cannot believe he was waiting for us to come down before he made his departure. That love that we shared was so strong that even in death Prince waited for me.

I cannot stop crying even as I write this my hands are shaking and the tears are flowing. But I wanted to tell the world that I love this little guy more than I thought I ever could and wanted to say goodbye. My favorite moments that we shared keep flying in and out of my mind. Like the way he would always jump into a bag if I held it on the floor and told him let’s go, he would would do anything if that meant he got to be by my side. The way he greeted me and rolled over for me to tickle him as he laughed showing the most beautiful little white teeth and chocolate lips. The warmth of his body as he laid on my legs as we slept. And sometimes he would sleep just like me on his back with his head under the pillow. And the way he loved to run free in a park or in a field, the wind in his face and his fur pulled back sprinting full speed towards me. The cute look he would give me if he saw my camera, he was the best model. The way he would let me torture him by putting silly outfits on him and taking his photo, to which he just laid down and gave me the saddest look ever. The way we would dance around the living room as I held him and sang, he loved that. I will miss most the sound of his grrrrrrr whenever we played his favorite game.There are more moments than I could ever share, but every single one of them lives in my heart.

It was a beautiful love affair that I will always cherish, he was truly my Prince Charming. Today I begin the healing process and will most likely take a few days to mend my heart so I appreciate everyone’s patience with my lack of communication.